Give Me My Money Back

For the past several months all we've heard on the news is "Recession, Stimulus Plan, Lay Offs, OMG, What is America to Do?"

I am OVER IT! First of all we have seen worse times; remember the Great Depression. That was a time when people making minimum wage would never buy a brand new Mercedes just because they got approved for the loan. People didn't write checks their asses couldn't cash. No one lived in a million dollar home unless you had money like John D. Rockefeller. Where has our pragmatism gone?

It frustrates me when I think about how Americans spend their money. What makes me want to live on an island with an unending supply of pina coladas and music, is how much money we have loaned to other countries and never gotten back. I know, I know, it is for the good of the world and we should help our fellow man blah, blah, blah! Well, screw that! Where are they when we need help? Where were these countries when Katrina hit or when we began sending troops to the middle east? Half of America is highly uneducated. Children grow up to be ineffective uneducated adults who might have to pull me over because I have a tail light out or something. If you are going to give me a ticket, it might be a good idea to know what it says! I digress.

My stimulus plan goes as follows: First, hire all the Shylock's/loan sharks in our country and send them out on "special assignment" to do what they do best: collect money from the people who owe us by any means necessary. Second, the Bank of "I'm gonna loan a bunch of money to people I know can't and won't pay it back"closes for good. The only way this particular bank is to be reopened is if all recipients of these loans agree to pay 10 percentage points for every month they are late repaying the debt; or they can immediately hand their country over to the U.S. with no hostility (or you all will be shot and fed to the sharks) and we will call it even. If there is any derivation from the plan on the borrowers part, we will annihilate the entire country and start over from scratch. Third, survival of the fittest applies everywhere. If you can't make it, I guess you are SOL. You may ask for a modicum of help, but we draw the line at millions of dollars. You know, when people get hungry, they WILL find a way to eat. I don't understand how any of this is our problem. I think we should take care of our own and then when we are all taken care of, reach out to those in need.

The point of this stimulus plan is for these countries to just give me my money back! The sooner they do that, the sooner Christina's stimulus plan will be lifted.