Olympics

The 2008 Summer Olympics have been such a treat. I know I have been more in tuned to these games than any other in the past. I had no clue who Michael Phelps was until I saw the first commercials for Rosetta Stone with him learning to speak Chinese.

Anyway, there have been some major ups and downs of these summer games. The first up would be Michael Phelps. I think he has gills. I've never seen anything like it. It is truly amazing when someone can swim lap after lap with such ease, knowing the pool is his playground, and then be extremely humble with his winnings. Did you know Speedo offered him 1 million dollars last Olympics to win six gold medals? Did you also know they took out an insurance policy on the deal and they only ended up paying 30, 000 of the 1 million? This time they upped the ante and offered him the same deal, only he would have to win seven gold medals. Well, surprise surprise, he did it! The offer was like asking a monkey not to climb trees. Anyway, Speedo tried to get a similar insurance policy on the deal as they did before. The insurance companies had more faith in Michael Phelps than his sponsor, Speedo. All of the companies refused to insure the agreement. I had a little laugh at that. Speedo essentially pays him to do something he loves, isn't that what professional athleticism is all about?

Now, we've seen one of the most amazing swimmers this world will ever know and then the Olympic committee throws some terrible news at us...baseball and softball will be taken away while trampoline remains. Seriously, WTF! I am not a huge fan of baseball or softball; wait; I take it back. It is an American past time that has seen this country through good and bad times. We've all seen A league of Their Own! Geena Davis was wonderful. Rosie and Madonna were icing on the cake! We remember (well, I personally don't because I wasn't born) a time when baseball was America. The Boston Red Sox fans are, to this day, an excellent example of what baseball means/meant to this country. It has caught on all over the world. I am for any sporting event where you can yell at the top of your lungs and drink beer.

I swear, trampoline is an Olympic sport! I looked it up. NBC has yet to show the trampoline finals. It is officially called Trampoline Gymnastics, as if gymnasts didn't have enough pep in their step. So, this is a sport that originated in the 2000 Sydney Olympics that takes skill and determination. MJ, LJ, get LMJ ready, she should be able to contend in a couple of years. I remember flying around on my cousins' trampoline. We'd see who could go the highest and who could bounce one another off the side onto the grass. It was a serious event. If I'd known in 2008, there would be an Olympic medal at stake, I would have practiced my trampoline skills more often. I could do the flips and toe touches, even land on the roof. I feel I have been slighted because I've never played softball or baseball so the thoughts of going far never crossed my mind. Trampoline on the other hand was my passion. The six a.m. practices, the weight training, everything I devoted my life to on that trampoline is now lost. I am too old and have lost my touch. I am thinking of suing the IOC for punitive damages! 

I have really loved these Olympics. I do not know if the next summer games will be the same without baseball and softball. Oh the horror. Maybe I should boycott. Who knows, I guess we will have to see if the IOC goes through with the changes in 2012. Until then...

Marriage

I love the fact that my life is surrounded with wonderful relationships. My parents have been married for what seems like an eternity and my brother and his wife have been together for most of my life (he is nine years older that me). They actually like one another. Here we are in the United States of America with a divorce rate of fifty percent or higher and they actually like hanging out with one another, what a freaking shock! I am aiming to beat those odds and join the club of fidelity and longevity along with my parents and my brother.

Since moving to Kansas, I've been bombarded with these questions: Are you married? Are you getting married? Are you engaged? Why aren't you married by now? Do you have children? (My personal favorite) Do you own a house?

Well, here are my answers for the MILLIONTH time...NO. YES. NO. BECAUSE I WOULD PREFER NOT TO BE IN DEBT UP TO MY EYEBALLS AS A NEWLYWED COUPLE. DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE KIDS? NOT YET.

The question about children always gives me a little laugh. First of all, I would like to be married to my baby's daddy. I am not going to be the one causing all the "baby mama drama" should it come to that (IT WON'T). Second, I love children, but in a lot of ways I am still a child myself. I really like being able to have as many beers as I want when I want. I also love waking up mostly on my schedule. There are some days I have to go to the office earlier than my double digit rule (I don't wake up before douple digits). One day we will have children.

I have also noticed here in Kansas that not being married is a fate worse than death. I guess since I didn't get married at fourteen or twelve or whatever, it is a HUGE deal. The only thing that is of larger concern for my fellow Kansans is the fact that Josh and I live together. Seriously, WTF! We are in a more committed relationship than that of some married people we know, I will not name names, but you know who you are. I really believe that is what matters. Yes I would love to get married tomorrow, but the practicality of it all kicks in. I want a house first! When friends and family come to visit, they will have ample room to hang out...without us being on top of one another. When you own a house it is the perfect arena for beer pong tournaments and dart games.

I guess I really got use to living in bigger cities where the moral order is waining. No one minds your business unless you are family, friends or neighbors. Now, I have what feels like the whole state minding mine. I've barely become adjusted to the way of life here, so GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK, I really like it here. I do not want to summon the likes of Dorothy V. Graves and pull out a can of whoop ass on people yet.

So, my fellow Kansans, I promise to let you all know when we are getting married. I will put it on a billboard if you'd like. Right now, we are happy, so be happy for us!


Disclaimer: for unwed mothers, do your thing. I think the responsibility you take on is major. I am just saying I could not do it by myself.