Tuesday, April 13, 2010

New Plan

I've found a new form of torture. It is called P90-X. I truly believe if our prisoners were made to do this on a daily basis with small amounts of food, they might be less likely to re offend or offend in the first place. The daily routine would go as follows:

6:00a- Day guards arrive and collect their full body armour, ear plugs, tasers, 9MM hand guns, and AK-47s. The last two pieces of equipment are insurance policies should anyone get unruly.
6:30 - Guards wake inmates with a loud bull horn through the intercom system.
6:45 - Inmate breakfast
7:00 - Back to cells to let food digest
7:30 - Begin P90-X (should any inmate fall behind or slack off, they will get the lowest voltage from the taser)
9:30 - Break to get fresh air (walking around the yard)
10:30- Back to P90-X (if you puke, you get tased and begin again)
Noon - If they are up to it, LUNCH (if you puke this up, you must either eat it or pay a fine so the tax payers money isn't totally wasted.)
12:45p - Welcome to another round of P90-X
2:45 - Inmates are now allowed free time (sleep, hanging out with other inmates, reading a book, playing basketball, you get the drift.)
4:00 - One last round of P90-X, this time everything must be done double time (once again, if you slack or puke, the taser voltage is increased and you shall have surges of electricity moving through your body)
6:00 - Dinner
7:00 - Free time again until lights out
9:00 - Lights out

The plan is to exhaust them so they will be too tired to fight or cause problems while incarcerated. The general fear of having to do this on a daily basis will deter people who might want to commit crimes. I don't believe it can be viewed as cruel and unusual punishment because it is exercise. We all win! I've seen too many episodes of Lockup.