Monday, March 22, 2010

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

For the last eight years, I've been a registered Libertarian. When I told my father I changed my registration, I thought the tears would flow instantaneously, but they didn't. He asked me why and then rolled his eyes. Almost all of my family are Democrats, so how did I become a Libertarian? Well, while in college I realized my disdain for Republicans was so intense it made me want to puke then stab myself in the eyes. My disappointment for Democrats made me want to slap all of them, one by one, in the face, like a pimp slaps his hos. I didn't want to affiliate myself with either party because partisan politics has shaped this country into a huge cesspool of assholes. Don't get me wrong, I still believe we'd have assholes if partisan politics were eliminated, I just believe the assholes wouldn't know what to do with themselves. They might be a little easier to control.



My ideals are totally Libertarian, but the rationale weighs in and that is not the way I vote. The reality of the situation is you are either an ass (donkey) or a fat ass (elephant). Both choices are pretty bleak.



I wish we lived in a place where welfare didn't exist because people were responsible enough to take care of them selves and their families or perish. I wish the government couldn't tell me what I can and can't watch. So what if an eight year old finds out who Jenna Jameson is. That is definitely NOT the government's fault. Where where the eight year old's parents when he was watching this?! If I don't want to wear my seat belt, I shouldn't have to! I wish pot were legal. How many of our country's violent offenders say, "Yeah, I smoked a blunt before I stabbed that lady on the street and stole her purse." Answer: NONE! They were too zoned out to even get up and hold a knife, no wait, they were too stoned to get up. I digress.



With the new health care bill passed, who knows what will happen. I wish all the loud mouth Republicans that cry about everything they don't support because they didn't think of it first would shut the fuck up! I wish they would suck it up and come to terms with the fact that they LOST! In my ideal world, the speech our fearless leader would have given after the new bill passed would have gone something like this: "Woo Hoo Mutha Fuckers, we did it! Suck on that you fascist pieces of shit! Who's the bitch now?!?!?! (all the while, middle fingers on both hands waving like he was in a rap video). I own you!" Then Obama, Joe Biden, Nancy Pilosi, and the rest of the Democrats would show they had true balls by standing at the podium of the house floor and popping a bottle of champagne and spraying it everywhere.


I don't know what is going to happen, but one of the amazing things about this country is, if we don't like something, I am sure we will find a way to change it.

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