Tho Some Ds on Em

I use to regard Atlanta as the rims, dubs, chrome capital of the world. I went a few years ago for a concert and was mesmerized. I became a little like Rain Man because huge Escalades with tinted windows (probably to protect the occupants eyes from the shine of the rims) passed and all I could think of was "Ooh, shiny!" I knew it was a real problem when we were sitting in traffic on Peachtree Street, or the worlds largest parking lot, and a '85 Toyota Camry rolls up with chrome spinners and all I could think about was "Ooh shiny!" I knew I'd seen everything. It was cool to see people truly have more money than sense. The persuasion of people with rims ran the gambit too. Never in my life have I seen so many Lil John wannabes and suburban soccer moms with rims on their vehicles. I won't lie, I wanted to move!

My lust for Atlanta soon faded and shifted to L.A. (only because I moved there). If you were to take a poll, I am sure L.A. has more cars with rims, but per ca pita, Atlanta wins hands down. The biggest difference in Atlanta rims and L.A. rims is the diversity in cars with rims. People in Atlanta will put rims on ANYTHING! People in L.A. tend to put rims on luxury vehicles. L.A. also tends to vary in color. I've seen chrome, black, white, blue and red rims. That is truly where my love affair with dubs began. My nights were filled with fantasies of getting rims and putting them on a mini van when I become a mom, no, wait, that never happened, but I did have dreams about putting rims on a big Tahoe with a bumpin' system! I could pick out every car with rims and tell the difference, meanwhile having Josh in my ear telling me they all suck (it is the artist in him).

Anyway, we moved to Wichita, you know, land of OZ, and I have been floored ever since we got here. I shake my head everyday as I'm on my way to work. Here we are, middle America, land of conservative Anglo Saxons...and they all have rims on their cars! My broker is well into her sixties and she has rims and a chrome grill on her bright red Tahoe! All the soccer moms have rims. I don't get it. I thought rims were supposed to represent how thug you are. I thought rims were for black people and Mexicans. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd see Barbie gathering little Sarah and Tommy into the car with chrome shining like the sun on cloudless summer day in Florida. I am feeling more left out here than I was in Atlanta or L.A.

So, I guess the more successful I become, I will have to put aside a "Tho Some Ds on Em" fund so I can be part of the club too (that fund will also be attached to the "Diamond Grillz for Christina fund).

So, I get a text this morning from my cousin. The first one is "Hi." She never texts me like that, there is usually more to it. She asks things like, "when are you coming home, or did you hear about this or that, or I saw so and so...they asked how you were doing, ect." This one was a little different. I immediately thought something happened to her daughter, her sister, her mother, or my parents. It was nothing like that. THANKFULLY!

I then thought, maybe she is pregnant again. You know the sound car tires make when they come to a "screeching" halt? That was the sound in my head...because she has a girlfriend. I would imagine it would be very difficult to get pregnant that way, but who knows, anything can happen, we have freaking pregnant men for God's sake. That wasn't it either. She then dropped the bomb that her baby's daddy was in the hospital because he tried to kill himself last night.

Seriously, WTF. I immediately became enraged because to look at their daughter and see her precious face and then laugh at her because she is 4 and pimptastic. Once again, I will say it, she is 4. She has not one, but two boyfriends. She kills me. Her eyes sparkle and her hair is the ipitome of "curly locks." She is two maybe three feet tall and when watching t.v., she extends her little legs on the couch, crosses her ankles, and raises her arms above her head to intertwine her fingers behind the curly locks. In a lot of ways, she is like a little adult. I remember being home a few months ago and she was 3 at the time. Her grandmother called her tricky. "Miss thang," as I like to call her, proceeded to put one of her 3 year old hands on her hip, slightly bend over and say to her aunt, her grandmother, and I , while shaking a finger at us, "No, no no, you all are tricky." I am really bad at encouraging small children to do things they aren't supposed to do because I think it is funny. So, I began to laugh histarically; we all did. It was funny. So why would he want to leave someone so amazing? It boggles my mind.

I know he and my cousin have had their differences, but if anything, he should want to live for his daughter because she is such a joy and a gift. Over the years, it has become increasingly hard to understand how he can say he loves "Miss thang" because sometimes, well, a lot of times, getting back at my cousin for dumping his sorry ass consumes his every action. Once she was born, he needed to realize it wasn't all about him anymore, it was all about his daughter.

My cousin grew up with my father basically being her father. Her biological father died when she was really really little. My father grew up in a foster home. Those two situations I would never wish on anyone, especially someone as wonderful as his daughter. The past two/three years of custody battles are now lost. All the effort he put into gaining his daughter full time got washed away with the bottle of tylenol he decided to down. It just makes me want to wake him up and shake him, then ask him what he was thinking to end with GROW THE "F" UP!

I hope gaining the attention of your family, baby's mama, and her family was worth it you POS!

Where were you when...

Being that I am a little over a quarter century old, I've had at least two where were you when moments. 

We grow up hearing our parents and families say things like, Where were you when MLK/JFK were shot? Where were you when we landed on the moon? Where were you when Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs? I am not too sure about the moon thing, I think it was in a studio in Hollywood, but I do know MLK and JFK were defining moments in our history as Americans. Billie Jean King's win was a defining moment for women. 

Our space program is based on JFK's willingness to think outside the box. My ability to have a white Jewish boyfriend and drink from the same water fountain is thanks to MLK.  Billie Jean King's success paved the way for women like myself to play sports at the same caliber as men. Because I did not experience these things first hand (I was not glued to the black and white t.v. set with rabbit ears or in the picket lines of Montgomery while all of this went down ...I wasn't even born) they are rights I was given at birth, kind of like breathing. We all take it for granted until we don't have it anymore. 

As of November 4, 2008, the two where were you when  moments in my life are the destruction of the world trade center's twin towers and the smack down Senator Obama gave Senator McCain to become the 43rd President of the United States of America. 

September 11th, 2001 was probably one of the most numbing experiences of my life. Every morning (when I was still an early riser) I woke up and got ready for my 9a.m. class by watching the Today show. I remember Katie Couric cutting away to the footage/live feed around 8a.m. to see the first plane crash into the first tower. All I could think was "that plane must be having some kind of crazy electrical problem or something." The second plane hit the other tower. I thought it was really strange and went to class. The drive from my apartment to my school was about ten minutes. In the time it took me to get to school and park, the Pentagon had been hit. The news was all over campus and classes were cancelled. I remember calling my dad and talking to him about it. I was pissed that we never thought anything like this could happen to us. "What makes us so different than any place in the world other than our superior bullying skills," is all I could ask myself. The months after the attack became somber and I became closer to knowing someone who lost their life so abruptly. It is a type of "six degrees of separation" I do not like to play. 

Now, seven years later, another moment I will remember forever has taken place. America has given me hope. I am an optimist who reluctantly began to doubt the goodness in people and my country. Today marks the beginning of an era. I never thought it would happen in my lifetime because Americans can be really petty and asinine, but we did it, we elected our first black President. To quote 3-6-Mafia, "...like Barak Obama says its time for a change." Well, here we are. I will always remember I was living in a "nice" red state. Unlike Florida, there was no one standing outside the polls trying to intimidate the voters, toting signs of what/who they believe is right. People held my door open to enter the polling center. My opposition was NEVER hostile to instill fear in me for my opinions. It was a fair fight. I've never been so nervous about anything in my life because up until now, I knew I could handle the outcome should it not go my way. I remember watching the number of Electoral College votes jump from 207 to 333, the magic number. I remember seeing my phone ring and my best friend Ami being on the other line giggling her face off. 

I hope in my many years to come, there are more defining "where were you when" moments that make me smile and laugh. I hope I am proud and thankful. I hope I am always looking for more!

Rain

I think I appreciate the rain more than your average being, almost as much as ducks. It has been raining a lot here in Wichita bringing the summer to a screeching halt. This is the first time I am living in a place where fall is not in December and the leaves actually go through their entire color spectrum. Rather than being green and full one month and  brown, broken and on the ground the next, they are bright yellow and orange reaching to heights that seem to fade into the sun.  It is really cool. 

Last night before bed, this vivid memory jumped into my head like the first popcorn kernel popping, other things are going on and all of a sudden, there it is. The image was of my cousins Beth and Katie and I playing in the rain with our moms. It always seemed to happen in the fall where the rain would keep the Florida heat at bay, just a little. I remember living on Post Street and as soon as the clouds began to rumble, we began our rain dances hoping the afternoon would never end. Barefoot on the steaming sidewalk, the rain seemed to stop time. I don't remember cars passing. I just see these three brown little girls twirling and running, soaked from the Heavens opening. 

I think what also makes this memory so vivid is that my mom and aunt played with us. Here we are, eight years old and younger, with our mothers having just as much fun. The reality of bills and work left our minds. It was like life wrapped us in a warm blanket and cradled us while we fell asleep to dream of a carefree existence.

It is amazing what triggers things in your memory. This is probably one of my favorites!

My Boyfriend got Arrested

Living in the Air Capital of the World has been wonderful. We have been blessed with new experiences and a new life. With that said, Josh got arrested by the Hawker Beechcraft Rent-a-Cops. How exciting!!!!!

Josh works in the executive building of his company. It is a teal windowed building with a runway for a drive way and an air traffic control tower as a guard gate. His office in the teal windowed building over looks one of the hangers where they bring clients to look at planes that are finished or almost finished so they have a more tangible idea of what they are purchasing. For 27 million dollars, I would want to know what I am purchasing too. Anyway, the building is at the back of the campus/airport, and honestly, about 3/4 of a mile to a mile away from the rest of the plant and everything else they have on their property like the employee gym and auditorium.

When Josh has to meet with the engineers or a lot of people who will be working on the design of a plane, they meet in one of the larger areas across campus from his office. The company is wonderful about taxiing the staff in 15 passenger vans from one end of campus to the other. It is cool because it allows everyone to be on time for the meetings and no one has to walk in the extreme heat or extreme cold. Josh recently had one of these meetings and the van came to pick he and his colleagues up from their office and shuttle them to their meeting. It was a success, from one end to the other safely.

The meeting came and went and it was time to head back to the office. Well, Josh and one of his colleagues waited and waited for the van to pick them up and no one came. They waited at the pick up point for about half an hour before they decided to hoof it across campus to their "home." They began walking and came to the first runway. They were obviously taught well by their mothers because they looked both ways before crossing the street. All clear, they crossed. As they stepped off the other side of the runway, the Hawker Beechcraft police came speeding up in their oh so pimp golf cart. "Gentlemen, you need to come with us." Josh and his colleague thought "sweet, a free ride, it is flippin' hot out here." That was not the case. They were brought back to the security office near the meeting place they just left, placed in separate "interrogation rooms," and lectured then questioned. "Sir, did you know it is a federal offense to walk across and active runway?" the security guard asked. "Did you know you could face up to ten years in jail and fines," he asked. Josh told him no and got a little worried. The security guard questioned him a little more and then let them go, only after finding out who their bosses were, and why they were walking across the runway. When they got back to their offices the immediately found their bosses and let them know the story. They laughed.

The next morning Josh goes to work and is called down to the security office for more questioning. They began asking questions like "What did you have for breakfast yesterday morning? What did you have for lunch? Are you on any medication? Are you suicidal? Why did you walk across an active runway? Josh answered, "cereal and yogurt; chicken, carrots, and fig newtons; no, just the fiber I take daily; no; and the shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line, the runway was in the straight line. He was sent back to his office and the next day given his punishment...a half day. His boss told him not to tell anyone because then everyone will walk across and active runway!

The moral of the story is, do not walk across an active runway. Apparently it is a federal offense and you will be taken down my the big bad rent-a-cops. If you do happen to walk across an active runway, do not only look right and left, look up!

Footnote:

The van did not make the pick up because it was in an accident!

Olympics

The 2008 Summer Olympics have been such a treat. I know I have been more in tuned to these games than any other in the past. I had no clue who Michael Phelps was until I saw the first commercials for Rosetta Stone with him learning to speak Chinese.

Anyway, there have been some major ups and downs of these summer games. The first up would be Michael Phelps. I think he has gills. I've never seen anything like it. It is truly amazing when someone can swim lap after lap with such ease, knowing the pool is his playground, and then be extremely humble with his winnings. Did you know Speedo offered him 1 million dollars last Olympics to win six gold medals? Did you also know they took out an insurance policy on the deal and they only ended up paying 30, 000 of the 1 million? This time they upped the ante and offered him the same deal, only he would have to win seven gold medals. Well, surprise surprise, he did it! The offer was like asking a monkey not to climb trees. Anyway, Speedo tried to get a similar insurance policy on the deal as they did before. The insurance companies had more faith in Michael Phelps than his sponsor, Speedo. All of the companies refused to insure the agreement. I had a little laugh at that. Speedo essentially pays him to do something he loves, isn't that what professional athleticism is all about?

Now, we've seen one of the most amazing swimmers this world will ever know and then the Olympic committee throws some terrible news at us...baseball and softball will be taken away while trampoline remains. Seriously, WTF! I am not a huge fan of baseball or softball; wait; I take it back. It is an American past time that has seen this country through good and bad times. We've all seen A league of Their Own! Geena Davis was wonderful. Rosie and Madonna were icing on the cake! We remember (well, I personally don't because I wasn't born) a time when baseball was America. The Boston Red Sox fans are, to this day, an excellent example of what baseball means/meant to this country. It has caught on all over the world. I am for any sporting event where you can yell at the top of your lungs and drink beer.

I swear, trampoline is an Olympic sport! I looked it up. NBC has yet to show the trampoline finals. It is officially called Trampoline Gymnastics, as if gymnasts didn't have enough pep in their step. So, this is a sport that originated in the 2000 Sydney Olympics that takes skill and determination. MJ, LJ, get LMJ ready, she should be able to contend in a couple of years. I remember flying around on my cousins' trampoline. We'd see who could go the highest and who could bounce one another off the side onto the grass. It was a serious event. If I'd known in 2008, there would be an Olympic medal at stake, I would have practiced my trampoline skills more often. I could do the flips and toe touches, even land on the roof. I feel I have been slighted because I've never played softball or baseball so the thoughts of going far never crossed my mind. Trampoline on the other hand was my passion. The six a.m. practices, the weight training, everything I devoted my life to on that trampoline is now lost. I am too old and have lost my touch. I am thinking of suing the IOC for punitive damages! 

I have really loved these Olympics. I do not know if the next summer games will be the same without baseball and softball. Oh the horror. Maybe I should boycott. Who knows, I guess we will have to see if the IOC goes through with the changes in 2012. Until then...

Marriage

I love the fact that my life is surrounded with wonderful relationships. My parents have been married for what seems like an eternity and my brother and his wife have been together for most of my life (he is nine years older that me). They actually like one another. Here we are in the United States of America with a divorce rate of fifty percent or higher and they actually like hanging out with one another, what a freaking shock! I am aiming to beat those odds and join the club of fidelity and longevity along with my parents and my brother.

Since moving to Kansas, I've been bombarded with these questions: Are you married? Are you getting married? Are you engaged? Why aren't you married by now? Do you have children? (My personal favorite) Do you own a house?

Well, here are my answers for the MILLIONTH time...NO. YES. NO. BECAUSE I WOULD PREFER NOT TO BE IN DEBT UP TO MY EYEBALLS AS A NEWLYWED COUPLE. DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE KIDS? NOT YET.

The question about children always gives me a little laugh. First of all, I would like to be married to my baby's daddy. I am not going to be the one causing all the "baby mama drama" should it come to that (IT WON'T). Second, I love children, but in a lot of ways I am still a child myself. I really like being able to have as many beers as I want when I want. I also love waking up mostly on my schedule. There are some days I have to go to the office earlier than my double digit rule (I don't wake up before douple digits). One day we will have children.

I have also noticed here in Kansas that not being married is a fate worse than death. I guess since I didn't get married at fourteen or twelve or whatever, it is a HUGE deal. The only thing that is of larger concern for my fellow Kansans is the fact that Josh and I live together. Seriously, WTF! We are in a more committed relationship than that of some married people we know, I will not name names, but you know who you are. I really believe that is what matters. Yes I would love to get married tomorrow, but the practicality of it all kicks in. I want a house first! When friends and family come to visit, they will have ample room to hang out...without us being on top of one another. When you own a house it is the perfect arena for beer pong tournaments and dart games.

I guess I really got use to living in bigger cities where the moral order is waining. No one minds your business unless you are family, friends or neighbors. Now, I have what feels like the whole state minding mine. I've barely become adjusted to the way of life here, so GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK, I really like it here. I do not want to summon the likes of Dorothy V. Graves and pull out a can of whoop ass on people yet.

So, my fellow Kansans, I promise to let you all know when we are getting married. I will put it on a billboard if you'd like. Right now, we are happy, so be happy for us!


Disclaimer: for unwed mothers, do your thing. I think the responsibility you take on is major. I am just saying I could not do it by myself.